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Posted by / 03-Jun-2018 13:00

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. A Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women than you. When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

All the Chuck Norris jokes aren't jokes because nobody dares to joke about Chuck Norris. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Then he uses that gun powder to make a bullet, whtch he uses to kill a cow to make more beef jerky. Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his beard. When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out. When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult. Chuck Norris does not simply kill you, he kills you until your dead. Vampires and Chuck Norris have a symbiotic relationship Did you know Chuck Norris went to the Mars? The Sun Doesn't set, it Runs when it sees Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. The most dangerous form of transportation is Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick, it is also the fastest. Chuck Norris once ate a skittle and gave birth to EMINEM! Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets, they dodge him. Chuck Noris makes the most interesting man in the world drink Budweiser Chuck Norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a semi truck as a joke, that truck is now known as "Optimus Prime" Chuck Norris once made an happy meal cry. When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage. Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. If you flip over China its says made by Chuck Norris. Kim Kardashian secretly wishes she had an ass like Chuck Norris.

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A waitress at a Outback accidentally gave Chuck Norris a rare steak instead of a well-done steak. Chuck Norris' alarm clock plays Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" every morning at 7 am. It infuriates him, because Chuck Norris does indeed know that they started that fire, and they will pay. The only reason Michael Phelps won so many Olympic gold medals was because Chuck Norris was chasing him. Ford Trucks have a new Chuck Norris warning sensor, apparently he think's their motto (Are You Ford Tough? Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Chuck Norris won the NBA 3 point competition with his hands in his pockets. There is only one safe place to hide from Chuck Norris.. The first ten minutes of the film "Saving Private Ryan" was loosley based on a game of dodgeball played by Chuck Norris in the 4th grade.

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